The rights of children.

20 september'13.
Islam is a complete code of life, a perfect solution for mankind. 1400 years ago a society where there was conflict between the people, there was enviousess between the people, the society was uncivilised and divided into many tribes, the one with the most power he lead the society, he leads his tribe. there was many violent acts between the tribes like robberies, looting, rapping, fighting, killing, burying their daughters alive and there was many more crimes which in our society we cant imagine.

1400 years ago when islam came, islam made a complete revelotion, islam changed the society, changed their behaviour, changed their ways and they found islam was the best solution for them. islam made it compulsory upon every belivers to give others their rights like we are obliged to give the neibours their rights, relatives their rights, parents their rights and your own children their rights. no other religion or any ism has given these rights to their people as much as islam has given the rights. this is the reason why islam is the best solution for humanity.

inshAllah today we are going to talk about one of the most important duties which we have to know as it is most important then any others rights. which is the rights towards our children as parents.

let's answer this question before going to details.
the question is why is it important to know and why we have to give their rights?
there are few reason which are:
1.Allah's commandment to save our family from the hellfire:
 Allah (swt) sent us to this world and gave us a goal towards Akhirah and gave the first duty to save ourself from hell fire and the second duty is to save our family from the hell fire. which Allah says in the quran:
"oh you who believe save yourself and your family from a fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are angels, harsh and severe, they dont disobey Allah in what he commands them but do what they are commanded." 66:6
our children are one of the most important part of our family. its our duty  to save them from hellfire by providing them their rights like giving them true Islamic education. 

2.Allah (swt) sent every child as a believer and it could be you are the reason which will make him a true believer or a disbeliever. the prophet (saw) saying"every child is born on fitra which means a child is born as a muslim and then their parents make them jews, christian or atheist"
you dont have the right to make them jews, christian or atheist beacause they were born as muslims. so,a child rights to provide them right education so they stay as muslim.

 

 

3.Your children are the future of Islam.the young people are the hope of tomorrow. They will take the messege of Allah swt. into the next generation. Without giving them the opportunities to learn the education of Islam they wont be able to spread the message of Allah. For example this mosque is built by our elders money and after this generation who going to take the responsibity to look after this mosque surely answer is our children.so, if we want our children to be part of the islamic society, part of the mosque then we have to train them.

4.when we will die all of our good deeds will be stopped except three ways: which the prophet (saw) says in a hadith..

first one is: sadaqa tul jareah like if you make a mosque or a madrasah or anything which helps the teaching of islam and what ever rewards come out of these mosque or madrasah you will see all of it, is added to your good deeds on the day of judgement.

Second one is the islamic knowledge, like a teacher when a student follows his ways, every reward he gets from the action the teacher taught him he, the teacher will get the rewards.

Third one is the most important one: which is related to our today's topic 'the rightious child' who will make dua for you to have forgiveness from Allah swt. Your child could be the reason to have forgiveness from Allah swt. For All your past sins. If you take them to the maktab to give them islamic education on right times.

now the main question is what are the rights/duties/responsibility to our children? What should we do to our children?

 

On first proirity basis we have to provide them food,cloths,homes,medication.

What other rights we have to provide them are:

we have to provide them halal food,halal cloths, halal environment, everysingle things whatever we give them we have to give them in halal way. This is thier one of the basic right that we give them halal things. Coz, haram things make them influenced to lead them in haram way.In a hadith prophet sw. Said.."those people are grown in haram way they wont be able to enter to the JANNAH." Some of us we have complain to our children our children dont listen to us they dont listen its one of the reason is we are not giving them halal food. So, we dont have right to give them haram things.

in last week we talked a story about the good parenting. A man came to OMAR ra. to complain about his son. In that story Omar ra. Mantioned three rights to children..
the first right is:
parents have to marry a good women/man this is an unborn child's rights to the parents.
Prophets sw. Saying in a hadith.

"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." in this hadith prophet sw. watch four thing but, get married the one religious. This is a unborn child right to select a pious women for their mother. Second right is: when a child born his/her first right is choose a nice and Islamic meaningful name...prophet sw. saying..on the day of judgement people will be called by their name and their parents names. so, name your child a nice name. The name which has good meaning, which will reflect on their character. Third right is: providing your child with quranic knowledge, there are lots of ways we can give our child the knowledge. one of them is: we have to teach them sahih akeedah on the faith of islam according to the age of your child. Another way is as they grow up you have to teach them the rules of shairyah which means masla masael what is halal and what is haram and you also have to teach them and make it into a habit to pray from the age of 7 and you have to pressurise them from the age of 10 to pray. also we have to teach them the manners of islam like on how to respect the elders, parents, their brothers and sisters and the youngers. We have to teach them to select good friend and if needed we have to accompany them in with their friends otherwise if they have bad friends they could be lead the wrong way like smoking, taking drugs and clubbing etc. a good friend is a friend with islamic knowledge. another serious thing is we have to monitor them every time when they use the internet and phone so they wont be addicted to any bad habits, some children use the internet in the name homework they use it for a long period of time but instead of homework they visit bad sites like pornography in this case you can use parental lock on their phone and on the internet. Another way is: you have to teach them the rules of relationship with opposite sex. Most of our kids dont know that their cousins are not halal for them. If you have a daughter strictly you have to tell them to protect their modesty like covering themselves with a head scarf and wearing loose and non revelling clothes. Also we have to provide our children with the books of hadith, biography of the prophets and his companions and the books of fiqh. Some parents provide their children only with novels like harry potter and twilight and the biography of che guevara, Shakespeare and robinthrunat tagor. Another important point which we have to be careful about is that there are some parents who shout at their children for simple mistakes like when their kid asks why do I have to eat? Etc. and unfortunately there are some parents who shout at their child for no reason and this type of behaviour makes the child more arrogant and act disrespectful towards their parents. Another best way to teach the islmic knowledge is to make your house an islamic environment and an ideal maktab, like we can pray in jammah with the kids. we will provide our children to have worldly degrees but as long as it is compulsory to provide them basic islamic knowledge. From everything I have mentioned about the ways of teaching your child the best place is to learn the ways in the maktab/ madrasah/mosque. It is more important to send our kids to the mosque so they can get connected to the muslim society and to the mosque. Finally we have to seek Allahs help to teach them proper islamic knowledge and we have to seek Allahs helps for their bright future and protect ourselves from the hell fire in the hereafter. may Allah give us tawfiq to provide our kids right education on right times!

The rights of parents.

dear respected brothers: In last week we disscused about the topic which was the duties towards our children as parents.
inshAllah! today, we are going to talk  the rights towards our parents as children.

lets answer these question before going to details.

whats the reason we are obliged to provide them their rights? why is it important to know and why we have to give their rights?
there are few reasons which are: 
1.Allah's commandment we have to give theme their rights: in the qur'an Allah swt. mantioned in many places to give parents their rights we can't bring all the verses but,one of the most famous verse where Allah saying FIRST RIGHTS IS FOR HIM TO WORSHIP AND immeditely he commanding to give parents their rights. "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you are dutiful to your parents.17:23-24.
in this verse ALLAH swt. talking the first duty is we have to worship him and the second duty is  we  will give them their rights. so, reason to give parents their rights its Allahs commandmet..
2. The parents are the way of jannah/the paradise: those whos parents are still alive we have a great Niamah . giving parents their rights its a great chance to make sure to get better place in hereafter. which prophet sw. mantioned in many hadiths "they are your jannah and jahannam".in another hadith Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said:
"Let him be humiliated! Let him be humiliated! Let him be humiliated!" It was asked, "Who, O Messenger of Allaah?" He replied: "He whose parents reach old age, either one or both of them, and who does not enter Paradise (due to not being dutiful to them)." [Muslim]
in these hadiths prophet sw. saying they can be a reason to you enter in the jannah/the paradise. if you provide them their rights. so, providing them their rights to get a better place in jannah this is another reason.
3.satisfaction of parents is satisfaction of Allah swt.: if we can make them happy on us by bieng good,polite,nice with them.it makes Allah happy on us and if Allah is happy on us its guranted to have jannah in hereafter. which prophet sw. saying narreted by abdulla ibne Omar ra."The pleasure of the Lord is in pleasing your parents, and the wrath of the Lord (upon the child) is if he makes them angry."
4. a heartly try to pay back what favor they had done on to us:
It is clear that after Allah, parents are the persons who give us innumerable favors. They provide protection, food and clothes etc. The mother sacrifices her comforts and sleep to provide comfort to us. The father worked hard to provide for our physical, educational and psychological (and spiritual) needs. It is a matter of common courtesy that if a person does something favor to us we feel obliged to him and Verbally we say ‘thank you’ to him. we try to repay and compensate him for his gifts and favors.

although, parents favors cannot be counted or repaid but, trying to give them their rights it a way to show you are greatfull them. Allah swt. saying "be greatfull to me and to your parents"31:14
there are many more reason we are stricly obliged to give them their rights.
now the question is what are their rights over the children and how can we give them their rights?

there are tow situations to give theme their rights?
1. before their death. 2. after their death.

the parents rights before their death which are:
1.be kind to your parents: Allah saying "The lord had decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents.17:23

Quran urges children to be soft-spoken towards parents and show respect and kindness in their behavior towards parents.
Unforunately, the Western societies are far away from these lessons and so we are. the Young children are very rude towards parents and show disobedience. when the parents grow old they drive them out from their homes and put them in "care Homes". Grown up children cannot spare time to attend to the needs of old parents. but,Muslims we expect our children to learn Islamic values and show respect, obedience, kindness and care towards parents, especially in their old age.

we Children must not forget the favors and sacrifices of our parents. we must feel and remain obliged towards our parents and try to repay them by kind words and deeds, even with money and material needs.
2. speak to them in nice way specially when they are old:
its very important that speak to them in a noble manners and treat them well and not to say the word 'uff' even if you have annoyed by them and another thing not to repel them. Parents have a right to be respected and obeyed by children. All parents are well wishers of children. They issue orders and instructions that are in the best interest of children. it is the duty of children to obey their orders. so, we shouldnt pronounce any word that shows disrespect to them/we shouldnt show by our behaviour which shows dishonour to them. some of us we have very old parents sometimes they are not able to move themselves they need others help we should help them in their everyday needs.

3. make dua for them and amplify your kind hands to them:
out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." 17:24
These are the Rights of Parents due from their children (or the Duties of Children towards parents). These Rights and obligations are not found in Islam only. Such values are to be found in all true religions. Quran mentions Hazrat Yahya (John the Baptist) as "kind towards his parents, not tough and disobedient". Similarly Hazrat Isa (Jesus) is quoted saying to his people, "God made me kind towards my mother (Mary) and did not make me tough and disobedient". Hazrat Yousuf (Joseph), as a royal Minister in Egypt, called his old, poor parents from their far off home and offered them seats on a high platform.

now what is the parents rights after their death?
1. making dua for their forgivness: when a child make dua and say o Allah FORGIVE my parents punishment of grave if they done any mitake for it. either Allah forgive them entirely or Alla will decrease their punishment. parents will ASK to the angels how the punshment is lessen. they will reply your child made dua for your forgivness which prophet sw. saying..  "when a person dies all his good deeds will be stopped except three ways:
one of them which is 'the rightious child' who will make dua for the parents to have forgiveness from Allah swt. the children could be the reason to have forgiveness from Allah swt. For All the past sins. If we can make them the rightious one by giving them islamic education on right times.
 2nd right is: communicating with their friends,relatives and giving them gifts and show them respect and somotimes visit their houses. prophet sw. used to give gift the friends of khadijah ra. after her death. aysha ra. saying... i feel jelious on khadijah the way prophet sw. remember her and prophet sw. sometimes used to send gifts to khadijah's ra. friends and relatives.
3rd right is: if they have any debt to anyone. the child's duty to pay back.coz, if anyone die and left any debt on the day of judgment Allah sw. wont forgive him axcept that person whom he awe to.
4th rights is: giving carity for them like build a masjid,madrasah or helping the poors and needy..which is called sadaqa tul jareah like if we make a mosque or a madrasah or anything which helps the teaching of islam and what ever rewards come out of these mosque or madrasah all of it, is added to their good deeds on the day of judgement.
these are the rights towards our parents as child.
 
now,another question is who has the most priority to deserve to have our accompany/care. father or mother?

first prioty is for mother its because of what difficulties she faced..... carried us 9-10 months in her womb...gave birth...and fed 2 years her breast milk and look after us untill we grow up. this is why prophet sw. saying narrated by abu hurayra RA. "  a man came to him and asked ya rasulallah sw. among the poeple who is the most deserving of good companionship? prophet sw. said your mother. the man asked him three times who is next..everytime prophet sw.replied its your mother and fourth times he said..the next person is your father" in this hadith prophet sw. telling mother has rights three times greater then the father. unfortunately our young children are very rude to their parents specially,to their mothers its because we are not make them understand the hardship a mother does to her kids from their born. we should make them understand if they spend their hole life to serv her mother it's nothing to compare what a mother had done to us.


the same way what the father done for us if we spend our hole life thats nothing to compare what the father done for us prophet sw. said narreted by abu haurayara ra.
"no one can pay back to their father except one way which is if anyone make free their father from slavery" in this hadith prophet sw. saying..if your father is a slave and you make them free then it will be somthing little bit for your father. but, in this time there is no any slavery which we can pay back.
 
now another big quetion is what will happen if we dont be obedyent to parents?

the punishment of disobidient children:
this is a great sin to be disobedyent to our parents. allah swt. doesnt give punishment immediately if we do wrong deeds/ if we make any sins but, if we missbehave with our parents Allah will give the punishment here and hereafter.
prophet sw. said. "All the sins if Allah wants he forgive here or hereafter BUT, if you dont abandoned your parents, dont give them their rights, and missbehave with them ALLAH wont forgive you and Allah will give you the punishment before your death"

another thing is the satisfaction of parents is satisfaction of Allah swt.: if we can make them happy on us by bieng good,polite,nice with them.it also makes Allah happy on us and if Allah is happy on us its guranted to have jannah in hereafter. its also guranted if allah unhappy then we have to go to jahannam. which prophet sw. saying narreted by abdulla ibne umar ra. "The pleasure of the Lord is in pleasing your parents, and the wrath of the Lord (upon the child) is if he makes them angry."
its our duty to give parents their rights and also we have to teach our children the teaching of islam..teaching them the manners of islam and we should try to make them a rightious child so they can make dua for us when we will die.
the thing goes around its come around....so be good,polite,gentle and show kindness to parents otherwise our children wont give our rights when we will be old.
may Allah give us to obedient to our parents!
jazakallahu khairan.